at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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