it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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