I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
