ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
