I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
