so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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