we have officially lost it.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
