Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
