All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
