What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
