I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
