Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't think brook has ever known best
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
