Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
