I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
