how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you didnt know i had herpes?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
