found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Randomize
