I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
