My brain says no but my pants say off.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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