when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
