I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
