You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
