Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
