PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
