I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
