would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
