it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Found your dick twin last night
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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