Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
