So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
