I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
