So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
