I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
