my phone needs a breathalizer
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
