I will die if light touches me.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
