Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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