So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The best revenge is premature balding
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
