..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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