This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
