and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
