Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
