Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
