bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
