Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize