would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
