Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
