called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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