The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I bet he comes in French.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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