Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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