We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
