im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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