She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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