Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
