I think I died a long time ago.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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