have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
