So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
