belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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