I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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