Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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