Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
