her vagine was all disorganized.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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